A Financial Adviser’s Honest (and Occasionally Humorous) Take
Choosing private schooling for your children is one of those life decisions that starts innocently enough and ends with you building complex spreadsheets, questioning your sanity, and wondering whether you should have invested in a vineyard instead.
As both a financial adviser and a working mum who has put children through boarding school, I’ve lived this decision emotionally, financially and occasionally with a strong cup of coffee in hand. I understand compound interest, opportunity cost and cashflow forecasting; and I also understand the parental instinct that says: “I just want to give them the best possible start.”
Private education promises strong academics, smaller class sizes, beautiful facilities, impressive networks and plenty of polish. All wonderful. It also comes with a price tag that can quietly take over your financial life, particularly if you’re a woman building a demanding corporate career while trying to stay vaguely present at home.
Let’s talk about what the journey actually looks like and how the recent 20% VAT on private school fees makes the numbers even more… character-building.
Understanding the Private School Journey (aka the Long and Expensive Road)
If you didn’t grow up in the private system, the terminology alone can feel like learning a new language.
Children usually start in Pre-Prep, from Reception or Kindergarten through to Year 2 or 3. Fees have historically been around £3,500 per term (before VAT), which feels manageable until you realise this is just the warm-up act.
Next comes Prep School, usually starting at 7+ or 8+ and running through to Year 6 or Year 8 depending on the senior school pathway. Fees typically rise to around £6,500 per term (before VAT).
Then comes the main event: Senior School at 11+ or 13+. Entrance exams, interviews, open days, polite small talk with other equally anxious parents… and sometimes registering your child four years in advance like you’re booking Glastonbury tickets.
For boarding schools, termly fees have historically sat around £14,500 per term (before VAT) – and yes, that is before uniforms, kit, trips, clubs and the mysterious extras that appear on invoices without explanation.
The Real Cost of Private School and the VAT Plot Twist
When we originally ran the numbers for our own family, educating a child privately from Reception through to Year 13 came out at roughly:
- Around £350,000 in core fees
- Closer to £400,000 once all the “extras” were added
Already a gulp moment.
Now fast forward to today, where many private school fees are subject to 20% VAT. Suddenly that £400,000 can drift towards £475,000–£500,000 per child depending on the school and fee structure.
Which is the point where even financially confident professionals start asking:
“Is this still sensible… or have we lost our collective minds?”
For working women balancing career growth, pension planning, investing and maybe one day wanting to slow down a little, this change genuinely matters.
The Honest Downsides (Confessions of a Financial Adviser)
Let me be candid: the financial pressure is real.
Without both my husband and I earning strong incomes, this simply wouldn’t have been possible. Even before VAT, annual above-inflation fee increases kept us permanently alert to cash flow. VAT adds another layer of “fun”.
As a financial adviser, I’m painfully aware of opportunity cost. If we had invested that £350,000 instead – even at a modest 4% annual return – it could have grown substantially over the same period. That’s a lot of potential financial freedom politely waving at you from the sidelines while you pay school invoices.
There’s also the slightly awkward reality that children from private schools often need higher grades to stand out at competitive universities, so sometimes you pay more for a higher bar. Parenting is full of these little ironies.
And while the pastoral care is excellent, some children can grow up in a beautifully protected bubble. I’ve seen young people wobble slightly when real life finally taps them on the shoulder and asks for rent, deadlines and self-motivation.
The Upsides – Why We Still Said Yes
Despite all that, there have been real positives.
Academically, our children have done very well. I don’t think private school teachers possess magical powers, but smaller classes, structure and tailored support genuinely help children thrive.
The facilities and opportunities are exceptional – sport, arts, travel, leadership experiences. Yes, you pay for it (sometimes twice), but the exposure is impressive.
One of the biggest long-term benefits is the network. The children mix with peers from all over the world who go on to diverse careers. That exposure builds confidence, ambition and perspective.
And on a very practical level, with two parents working at full pace, boarding school created a stable, supportive environment that allowed us to keep progressing professionally without permanently living in parental guilt (only occasionally).
For ambitious women balancing leadership roles and motherhood, this aspect shouldn’t be underestimated.
So… Is Private School Worth the Cost?
Ask me again in about 15 years.
As a family, we consciously prioritised education over many other lifestyle choices. It brought pressure, trade-offs and plenty of spreadsheet analysis. If we’d had exceptional local state schools available, our decision might have been different.
Ultimately, the real verdict will come from how our children reflect on their experience and how it supports the lives they go on to build.
Parenting rarely comes with neat ROI calculations – frustratingly for a financial adviser.
Practical Tips If You’re Considering Private School in the UK
If you’re thinking about going down this route, here are some grounded considerations I share with clients:
- Understand payment options – monthly vs termly payments can materially impact cash flow.
- Stress test your finances – assume fee increases, interest rate changes and career interruptions.
- You don’t have to go private all the way through – some families choose only primary or senior years.
- Explore scholarships – academic, sport, music, drama and specialist awards can help.
- Check bursary eligibility – means-tested support is growing.
- Consider state boarding schools – an often overlooked middle ground.
- Invest early where possible – spreading costs reduces later pressure.
- Think intergenerationally – grandparents may be able to support tax-efficiently.
- Consider international boarding schools – the boarding market is global. Many overseas schools offer excellent education at lower overall cost, plus valuable international exposure for your child (and excellent bragging rights at parents’ evenings).
Final Thought
Private education isn’t just an education decision, it’s a strategic financial decision that shapes your future options, freedom and resilience, particularly for women building successful corporate careers.
If you’d like help modelling what this could look like for your own family, factoring in VAT, inflation, investments and long-term goals, I’m always happy to have that conversation.
Book a complimentary planning session to explore your options.
It depends on your family’s priorities, finances and local alternatives. Private education can offer benefits, but the long-term financial trade-offs should be carefully considered.
Costs vary widely, but educating a child privately from Reception to Year 13 can run into several hundred thousand pounds, especially with VAT and extras.
Yes. Scholarships, bursaries, flexible entry points, state boarding schools and phased private education can all reduce the overall cost.